When He Says He’s “Not Ready” — What He Really Means

He’s not ready for a relationship, but he’s ready to talk every night. Not ready for commitment, but ready to sleep with you. Not ready to settle down, but quick to get jealous when you pull away.

Sound familiar?

Listen, when a man tells you he’s “not ready,” believe him, but also recognize what he’s actually saying. “I want access to you without accountability.”

This phrase has become a modern dating loophole. A way to enjoy emotional intimacy without the responsibility that comes with it. And if you’re still sitting around waiting for him to figure it out, we need to talk.

“Not Ready” Means Not Invested

A man can like you, be attracted to you, and even care about you deeply while still not wanting a relationship. Interest and readiness are completely different things.

Readiness is about emotional capacity, timing, and priorities. If he’s protecting his freedom more than he’s protecting your peace, he’s not ready. Period. The chemistry doesn’t matter. The late-night conversations don’t matter. What matters is that he’s choosing his comfort over your clarity.

Stop confusing emotional intensity with emotional availability. Just because it feels deep doesn’t mean it’s going anywhere.